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Heavy Lifting: Grow Up, Get a Job, Raise a Family, and Other Manly Advice, by Jim Geraghty, Cam Edwards
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What has happened to men in America? Once upon a time, men in their twenties looked forward to settling down and having children. Today, most young men seem infected by a widespread Peter Pan syndrome. Unwilling to give up the freedom to sleep late, play video games, dress like a slob, and play the field, today’s men wallow in an extended adolescence, ostensibly unaware that they’re setting themselves up for a depressing, lonely existence.
In this hilarious ode to male adulthood, Jim Geraghty and Cam Edwards—two happily married, 40-year-old men—have a simple message for their younger peers: Grow up!
- Sales Rank: #56837 in Books
- Published on: 2015-10-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x 1.00" w x 6.10" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 256 pages
About the Author
Jim Geraghty is a conservative blogger and contributing editor at National Review. He publishes the popular National Review Online blog "The Campaign Spot" and runs the "Morning Jolt" newsletter, which has around 400,000 subscribers. He is also the author of Voting to Kill: How 9/11 Launched the Era of Republican Leadership.
Cam Edwards hosts "Cam & Company," a three-hour radio/web show from NRA News available on Sportsman Channel, SiriusXM Satellite Radio, NRANews.com, IHeartRadio, and iTunes, with a daily audience reach of 100,000+. His “Cam’s Corner” column appears monthly in America’s First Freedom magazine, with a circulation of 545,000. This is his first book.
Most helpful customer reviews
41 of 43 people found the following review helpful.
A field guide to growing up male in early 21st Century America.
By Craig Matteson
We live in an age where the Progressive Ideal is eternal youth and eternal adolescence. A life of partying, clubbing, dating, bedding, entitlement, but little of the traditional goals previous generations considered the ideals of adult life: work, career, marriage, family, and pleasing accomplishment. The authors of this fun book, Jim Geraghty and Cam Edwards, have had their fill of the present day and see the ideals of the pre-Baby Boom generation as something to revive – if in modern dress and terms. That is, they recognize that today is not the 1950s but that the character of Ward Cleaver in marrying June and raising Wally and the Beaver made a great deal of sense that led to happiness and fulfillment. We could do a lot worse than learning from his fictional example. Ward Cleaver was make believe in form but not in substance. He was so widely accepted for entertaining families in the 1950s because those families lived by those ideals at least in aspiration.
I am a child of the 1950s and grew up in the 1960s. I remember Ward Cleaver and identified with the Beaver, even if he seemed a bit simple to me. True, I liked my own family more. But I was supposed to. My parents were married at 19 and my father was a pilot who flew planes around and transported wounded during World War II. He worked hard all his life and so did my mother. I grew up fully expecting to leave home at 18, go to college or get a trade like my father and older brother. Eventually, I would marry and have my own family. That is the way the world “worked”. And it does work better that way. I ended up going to Michigan State for a year, going on a mission for my church for two years in Brisbane, Australia, came home, met my wife and we married while I prepared to audition for music school at the University of Michigan. We attended there from 1978 through 1984 and we had three of our six children while I was a student there. Sure, we have done the traditional family thing, but not in the traditional way. We have been entrepreneurs most of our lives and worked together and for ourselves rather than in big companies.
Our own children are not the clich�d living in basement types either. They have gone out in the world and built careers and formed companies and gotten married and had kids of their own. But I know not everyone does this. And this book is a handbook for those people. The book has 23 chapters in five parts. The first discusses the need to leave home. Yes, it is cozy and comforting to let Mom and Dad provide your roof, food, and health insurance, but it is bad for you.
The First Part is about Breaking Away. The first chapter introduces the Ward Cleaver trope of the book, chapter two debunks the idea that college prepares you for life and why gathering all that life stunting debt and not much education is a horrible idea (not that college is completely useless), chapter three is about getting your own place and why that is important to having your own life, chapter four is about the problems of having and being a roommate. (Personally, roommates almost always end badly for all parties.) Chapter 5 is on video games and the grown man – the authors are more modern and tolerant of them than I.
Each chapter begins with some introductory material and then each other offers their own humorous insights – and the insights are actually useful – and the chapter concludes with a little box with a witticism about Ward Cleaver’s approach to the subject.
Part Two is all about becoming and adult male. They have chapters on drinking (again, more tolerant than I on the subject), how you should dress, getting a job, why getting fired is not grounds for jumping off a bridge, and how to find a work life that you can actually enjoy.
Part Three is the key to your happiness. Not necessarily how these guys tell you to do it, but the main goals are correct. Begin by actually asking girls out on dates. What is involved in getting married. How to be a good husband (and, yes, you will have to learn the mantra “Happy Wife – Happy Life”). Getting your own home! And why the secret to a long and happy marriage is not getting divorced.
Part Four is about becoming a father and how to do it right. You won’t really (just ask your kids), but if you try your hardest you will clearly do better than if you are indifferent or neglectful. And, as a man who has been a father since 1978 I can assure you that the rewards of caring about your kids and their mother are immeasurable and worth more than all other aspects of life lumped together and multiplied by some stupidly large factor.
Part Five is about raising the kids (more than one) you and your wife have had and why you do need to do it together and stay together to get it right. All the fictions about being great parents as divorced parents are just as silly as the stupid fiction that you can bed a new girl each week as they do in every sitcom and live a happy, sane, and prosperous life. You can’t. Oh, you can lie to yourself about it. But it is nevertheless a lie. That is me talking, not so much the authors. The authors just say that marriage and parenting are forever. I will point out that once you have kids you can live separately and even marry again, but you can never get divorced in the sense of separating your lives completely because the kids keep your lives tied to each other.
Anyway, this is a useful and humorous and, as I said, insightful book. Enjoy.
Reviewed by Craig Matteson, Saline, MI
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Geraghty and Edwards offer up a boatload of practical advice and common sense in this important new book.
By Paul Tognetti
“I can’t think of a better definition of a failed man than a deadbeat dad. If you bring a child into the world, your purpose in life is to be involved with that child and guide him to adulthood. Fatherhood is a job you don’t get to quit. Fathers teach sons how to be men; they teach daughters what to expect from men.” -- page 128
This quotation from co-author Jim Geraghty certainly flies in the face of the prevailing wisdom in this country where we are told that “it takes a village” to raise a child. It is so much nonsense. Today’s twenty-somethings have been indoctrinated since kindergarten with a destructive set of values that lower expectations and in all too many cases arrests development. Thus we have a generation of young men still living in their parent’s basements, many of whom are essentially afraid to participate in adulthood. Jim Geraghty and Cam Edwards have come to the rescue with a new book that some might deem controversial. “Heavy Lifting: Grow Up, Get a Job, Start a Family and Other Manly Advice” unabashedly espouses the traditional values that were embraced by ‘the greatest generation”. I never thought I would live to see the day when a book like this would be necessary but in my view it is a long overdue breath of fresh air.
Aside from urging young men to leave the comfort and security of mom and dad’s place the authors also address other pertinent issues such as how to co-exist with a new roommate, how to dress for success, how to go about looking for that first real job and mustering up the courage to ask the special young lady you fancy for a date. They go on to discuss such potentially destructive behaviors such as addiction to video games, porn and alcohol. In the second portion of the book the authors urge their readers to seriously consider marriage and then starting a family. Geraghty and Edwards lament the fact that so many young people seem to view parenthood as an 18 year prison sentence. They offer a very realistic view of what to expect in a marriage and how fathering and raising a child should be the most important thing you will ever do in your life. As I indicated this book is most definitely counter-cultural.
Now if there is a young man in your life that needs a nudge I suggest you present them with a copy of “Heavy Lifting”. This is a well written and thought-provoking book that should prompt some interesting discussions. Recommended.
27 of 31 people found the following review helpful.
This is a great book to leave on the unmade bed of a ...
By GCPhilly
This is a great book to leave on the unmade bed of a teenager in your life, but only after you've read it yourself and rebutted a few nagging doubts that are likely knocking around in your head. Well paced, funny, and insightful, Geraghty and Edwards offer a light hearted but resonate affirmation of one the fundamental pillars of our society- being a good dad. But beyond a father's contribution to society, the book nicely illustrates that it's also the most fulfilling way to spend one's days. If nothing else- it shows that you can still hang out with your best friend 20 years after graduation.
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